I'm Great At Acknowledging My Wife Is A Great Mom. I'm Awful At Showing It.

My wife, Katie, is a great mom. I know that. But not often enough do I show that. 

As I sit here on Mother's Day morning, it's a simple task itemizing the ways my wife is a good mom. 

• She's worked hard for 3 years pursuing her photography passion and building it into a business. At the same time, she's worked as a middle-school tutor and almost single handedly managed our boys' growing school and after school schedules. From a time managment standpoint alone, Michael Hyatt and other time management gurus have nothing on her.

 

• She keeps our house habitable. Our boys are 8 and 10, which means our home is always somewhere between having just been grazed by an F1 tornado and completely submerged by a tsunami. She is Fema and the National Guard rolled into one. And she's completely unsupported by my tax dollars. 

 

• She is never too tired to read. Every single night I can find her sitting beside our boys' beds, first one and then the other, reading to them. She may be exhausted, she may even show it, but our boys' faces always reflect peace and security in those moments. I only have to know just how little I feel like doing at that hour of the night to understand just how much she's doing in those few moments of reading. 

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• So much of what I do every day is predictable. I work hard, for sure. But most days I know what my work will involve. I know what time I need to be there and what time I'll be home. If a twist comes my way I usually have a team of people to help me untwist it. My wife's days, on the other hand, are never predictable. Our Ian battles asthma and has had to come home from school early many days this year. That often leaves Katie scrambling to amend her schedule. She also has photography clients that suddenly need something she didn't see coming. Then factor in my last second schedule changes which send her hunting for an unanticipated plan B and I can safely call motherhood the most inconstant job I know. My wife navigates that always flowing and raging river like the world's most unsinkable life jacket. 

 

• My wife loves God. No matter what her role: the nurse, FEMA, the reader, or the life jacket the Cartwright boys cling to - she never stops loving God. That's the most contagious love we have in our house. 

As I sit here on Mother's Day morning, it's hard for me to look at that list and confess how infrequently I show my wife I truly understand the difficulty of her job. But I do confess it. Making a list is one thing. Appreciating it is quite another. I'm afraid I'm good at list-building, not so good at the other. 

• When my wife's schedule get's busy, I'm not always understanding of why my priorities aren't her priorities. I too often make demands of her that are based on an empty calendar and not one colored in with crayons from sun up to sun down with the life of mom. 

• I too often see our house as a mess and not one that represents we are indeed surviving F1 tornadoes and tsunamis. I don't often enough see the mess as a blessing, a picture of healthy and wild 8 and 10 year old boys. I don't often enough see it as an opportunity for me to pitch in instead of complaining about those who've been dragging out. 

• When I'm tired, I think about I'M tired. I don't often enough think about SHE'S tired. 

• I'm pretty good at rolling with the punches in life. I'm just not very good at seeing how often my wife has to roll with them when she's wearing her mom hat. I embrace the unpredictable in my life. Too often I expect predictability in Katie's life. 

• I love God. I just don't love him enough love for placing the wife and mom in the Cartwright boys' lives he chose for us. 

Now don't get me wrong. I'm not confessing to being the world's worst husband and dad. (Although I'm sure there are moments when my wife wants to confess to that). 

I do believe, though, in reflecting on areas where others are great we can always examine where we can be better. I don't believe there's a better Mothers Day gift I can give my wife than saying I know you're a better mom than I give you credit for and I'm going to work harder to show that. Gratitude is a much better gift offered out of the blue than right on cue. 

For all you moms out there - for the reasons I've just pointed out in my wife - you are all my heroes. I know you tackle the challenges above and many more. And you so often do it while embracing the blessing of motherhood for what it is: the opportunity to make a beautiful, life-changing, world-impacting difference in your home and on eternity. 

I know my own mom made that difference in me. I know my wife is making that difference through our boys. And I pray for the difference all of you are making. 

Dads and husbands - remember, gratitude is better out of the blue than right on cue. Work on it with me between now and next Mothers Day.