You Don't Outsmart Life, You Overcome It

This picture.

It's the perfect Fathers Day picture. 

Not because it's a picture of me and the two guys that allow me to celebrate Fathers Day. But it's a picture of me holding our two sons while sending them the greatest life lesson of all:

The secret to life isn't learning the best way to do life, it's finding the courage and resolve to overcome it.

Some of you might call that a negative outlook on life. I call it I've lived 53 years and have personally found grit far more valuable than intelligence. Believe me, I tried chasing the easy way in life, only to discover one doesn't exist. Ultimately, the easiest way I found to do life is accepting it's hard and doubling down on my resolve not to be defeated by it. There are days that's the only thing that keeps me moving, no matter how wise I get to the ways of life. 

So in this picture, my boys are wrapped in the arms of a man dragging himself the final 2 tenths of a mile to the finish line of a 26.2 mile marathon. He is not an athlete. He is not in the best shape of his life. But he is completely determined to finish what he started. And believe me, in those final yards, determination is all he has. 

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One of our dear family friends, Angie, who taught Elliott for two years and is currently a teacher at Ian's school, recently sent Katie and I the photos below. And photo credits to Angie Hoggan for all of them. 

Obviously the pictures aren't of Ian performing in the classroom. It's field day (Ian's favorite subject). Still, I'm going to say this might be the best school report any of our boys' teachers have ever sent home. It probably shouldn't fire me up more than straight A's or spelling bee victories or science fair success, but it does.

​A lot more. 

Maybe that's because that's how I see life. It's a tug of war. One minute the momentum is absolutely going your way - I can't be beat! Then out of nowhere life starts dragging you through the mud, face first and feet wildly flopping in the air behind you. In that moment, you can begin thinking yourself through the protocol of what to do next, or you can instinctively jump to your feet and start fighting back.

Or at least pulling back. 

​No, I'm convinced, make me choose between a picture of a straight A report card or any of the pictures above and I'll take any one of the pictures above.

Don't get me wrong. It's not like I don't value education - don't want our boys to apply grit to their grades. I do. But I've seen too many people who know everything there is to know about the world only to have no idea how to respond when the world doesn't treat them the way they've been taught it will or should. 

Of course, the obvious benefit to my philosophy, especially given it's Fathers Day, is there are many limitations on just how smart I can teach our boys to be. My smarts reach a dead end quicker than most dads. But make no mistake, there's no limit to how much grit I can pour into them. So maybe I'm just playing to my fatherhood strength, but that's exactly how I'm going to keep playing.

​Happy Fathers Day to all my dad friends out there.